Over the last few weeks, my conversations have changed from being about credibility to focusing on the impact that low confidence can bring. For example, the dreaded C word has cropped up:
- With my likely business partner and a great business coach, where we both admitted we struggled at times with confidence issues. (Yes, even me!)
- A client who was struggling to re-calibrate what volume of work she could now take on, now that she had a child. As a result of this struggle, her confidence had been badly hit, and this was preventing her from daring to dream about where her business could take her. (And, what quality of work-life balance was eminently possible…)
- My daughter (who is 3) who has lost confidence in her ability to use the toilet after we took away her potty!
- My son (who is 4) and needing to gain ‘water’ confidence to learn to swim without arm bands, tummy bands and mummy holding him.
- And finally, there are the many conversations I am having with a client to help him beef up his inner confidence to be able to go and ‘sell’ his products and services. He wouldn’t be the first, and definitely not the last person charged with business development that needs to be able to sort out their confidence to be able to make their sales targets.
One of my specialism as a coach is working with female freelancers and business owners helping them grow their business, so that they can have the work-life balance they deserve to ‘be there’ for their kids as they grow up. I have noticed with this population of people, normally the only thing holding them back from achieving their goals is the confidence to go after them and make them happen.
I am sure that there are more pockets of people who need help to increase their confidence, so, my question (and challenge to myself) is how do you help your confidence return?
1. Remember the good times
Very often asking a client to remember a time when business was going well, or a time when they were confident, is enough to give them the nudge in the right direction to climb over a perceived obstacle in their way.
2. Reset goals & make them motivating
This is a strange one, but I have found when people have lost motivation and so stopped getting the results they need, their confidence takes a hit. It often takes just one coaching session to re-clarify goals, focus & strategy, and confidence seems to magically return.
3. Analyse the cause of the low confidence
For example, I was working with a lawyer today who professed to being very nervous and unconfident at delivering formal presentations. When we analysed his situation, we realised that he remembered a time 10 years previously when he had dried up in the middle of a presentation. With the help of some coaching he was able to normalise his fears, and put in place simple steps to maximise his confidence when presenting.
4. Work with a coach
I don’t want this blog post to be an advert for coaching, as that’s not the point I want to make. However, I personally gained a massive amount from working with my book editor, Sonja Jefferson. Having someone who I could check in with, and give me a gentle guiding hand, was what my confidence needed – and ultimately enabled me to go out and secure a great book deal. (If you hadn’t heard my whoops of joy, I’ve been commissioned to write the ‘Financial Times Guide To Business Networking’! )
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